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Post by ana on Sept 24, 2006 13:44:58 GMT -5
Welcome to the exclusive and luxurious Island Harem, where all your basic survival needs are taken care of.
Our fully trained staff are always on hand to tend to your every desire. Be it day or night, don't be afraid to ask for personal service.
Each day's star attraction will be advertised in due time, so check the notice boards for further details.
The dress code is casual, but some bare skin must be on display at all times. Guys are encouraged to help themselves to coconuts
So come in, kick back and enjoy (This is a members only resort, management reserves the right to refuse entry, particularly if you're an Other.) MONDAY'S @ AL'S ISLAND HAREM We start the week off in the capable hands of the irresistible Dr. Jack. Book yourself in for a Jack Special, a soothing all over body massage, at the secluded Caves spa. Jack only uses the very best in essential oils and doesn't mind easing those hard to reach places with his healing hands. With several years medical experience, he knows just how to help you relax and take your mind off the troubles of the day. He'll also gladly wade in the ocean to get that soaked shirt look you love, at no extra cost.
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Post by Ethan Rom on Sept 24, 2006 13:46:03 GMT -5
ROFLMFAO.....my God....THIS is why you've been so quiet.
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Post by Hollywood Heidi on Sept 24, 2006 13:50:25 GMT -5
LMAO! Freakin' classic! Can I have a gold member membership? ;D Or plantinum? Or hell, the highest membership you have?
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pearl
Having An Athma Attack
"I could use some therapy" plg%%Sarah & Aaron Parker%%
Posts: 1,207
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Post by pearl on Sept 24, 2006 13:52:21 GMT -5
That's just disgusting but I can't get my ass from laughing *lol* I hope this was my last visit in this house of sins ... the apocalypse will soon judge over you and your kind Ana Lucia!!!! And the seven apocylydooodle riders will chop your head of smaking your coconuts into the nirvana right over the holy river! Come Jack! We go!!!
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Post by ana on Sept 24, 2006 14:01:06 GMT -5
Heidi, your VIP Gold Card is in the post Pearl, are you sure I can't sign you up?
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pearl
Having An Athma Attack
"I could use some therapy" plg%%Sarah & Aaron Parker%%
Posts: 1,207
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Post by pearl on Sept 24, 2006 14:02:55 GMT -5
*stops right in the doorway glancing over her shoulder*
"Erm ... What's on Tuesday?"
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Jack
Collecting Info for a Census
plg%%Jack, Boone, Ben Henry, Kyle, Neil, Goodwin, Pickett%%
Posts: 1,725
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Post by Jack on Sept 24, 2006 14:12:49 GMT -5
lmao omg this is jokes
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Post by ana on Sept 24, 2006 14:17:49 GMT -5
TUESDAY'S @ AL'S ISLAND HAREMTuesday's is all about action here at the resort, so we proudly give you a bit of rough. Ever fancied trying a little self defense? Then come to the beach for a display of how best to throw a punch and kick sand in your opponent's face, led by the charming southern stud, Sawyer. Book yourself in for personal tuition, were you will be assigned a nickname and given hands on demonstrations of how to wrestle someone to the ground and seduce them. In the afternoons, Sawyer guides treks down the river on a mango picking expedition, before setting up camp in the middle of the jungle ready for a fun filled evening of drinking and 'I have never'. Not to be missed.
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pearl
Having An Athma Attack
"I could use some therapy" plg%%Sarah & Aaron Parker%%
Posts: 1,207
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Post by pearl on Sept 24, 2006 14:30:31 GMT -5
Well ... I guess I'm going to build a katholic church on the other side of the beach!
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drewdeburg
Hiking to Higher Ground
plg%%Krystal Wilmington%%
Posts: 237
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Post by drewdeburg on Sept 24, 2006 14:37:52 GMT -5
LMAO this is SO funny! Keep up the good work!
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Gwen Havers
Help Translate Rousseau's Maps
Ready to Fallplg%%Gwen, Shannon, Etana%%
Posts: 2,010
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Post by Gwen Havers on Sept 24, 2006 14:57:49 GMT -5
Haha! Can I have a gold membership as well, por favor? And a standing appointment for whatever day that Sayid is featured? ;D
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Post by ana on Sept 24, 2006 15:55:54 GMT -5
But of course, Gwen. It's in the post, and I've taken the liberty of booking a full day with Sayid for you. Nothing's too much for my distinguished clientele
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Post by Hollywood Heidi on Sept 24, 2006 16:24:16 GMT -5
Lmao, love Tuesday's as well! Can't wait for my new nickname (among other things)! ;D
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Willo
Found "Adam and Eve"
Interesting/Dangerousplg%%Willo, Mason, Walter, G, Maxine, Tom, Brooks%%
Posts: 813
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Post by Willo on Sept 24, 2006 16:55:28 GMT -5
I'm impressed at how well you were able to capture the language to parody them. Not that I'd know how those things read, or anything... uhm, I'm going to go over here now....
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Post by ana on Sept 24, 2006 17:04:13 GMT -5
WEDNESDAY'S @ AL'S ISLAND HAREMAfter Tuesday's energetic activities, chill out and relax with a little culture from our resident expert, Sayid. Starting off with a luxurious picnic at our private beach hideaway, Sayid will make you feel like the only woman on the island. With a hand picked hamper of our finest jungle fruits and freshly caught sushi, you can forget all about those strange noises you heard last night. While away the afternoon talking about the arts and foreign affairs, before snuggling up to watch a perfect sunset. And being the perfect gentleman, he will walk you back to your ocean view tent at the end of the night. If you don't want to end the evening there, just ask. Sayid is very inventive and will no doubt think of some way to keep you entertained.
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Gwen Havers
Help Translate Rousseau's Maps
Ready to Fallplg%%Gwen, Shannon, Etana%%
Posts: 2,010
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Post by Gwen Havers on Sept 24, 2006 17:29:38 GMT -5
Wow, he looks lovely in pinstripes. I'm just gonna' stare at that for a while and wish I were a cigarette...
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Post by ana on Sept 24, 2006 17:40:26 GMT -5
Ah, another satisfied client. And just so the guy's don't feel left out, there will be a sister resort next door to this one, catering for the male population of the island. I'm already recruiting, and it will be opening once I finished posting this weeks entertainment here.
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literaryfaery
Just Shot a Polar Bear
plg%%Grace Schaeffer%%
Posts: 263
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Post by literaryfaery on Sept 24, 2006 19:48:13 GMT -5
Oh my goodness. Where's my Gold Card? I want Tuesday and Wednesday!
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Post by ana on Sept 25, 2006 4:48:58 GMT -5
Don't worry honey, it's in the post You're booked in for Tuesday, but i'm afraid there's a waiting list for Wednesday since Gwen has booked it for the month. She said something about pin stripes, but I couldn't really understand her because she was drooling too much. ;D
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Post by Ethan Rom on Sept 25, 2006 5:17:08 GMT -5
Hey, if you need a psycho in your harem at all....
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